Pre-Marriage Christian Counseling: Does it Help?
Christian Counselors partake in the very life of the Christian Church. They play an active role monitoring the sacramental life as Christians grow from Baptism and flower into the Christian reflecting Christ’s truths. Within the Catholic tradition, this can be seen in the nourishment of the Eucharist, the mending of Reconciliation, and the strengthening of Confirmation. Within the Protestant tradition, this also seen in the unity of the Eucharist, the unity of the community, and the re-birth and acceptance of Christ as one’s personal savior. Within this spiritual growth, the Christian counselor represents, whether lay or religious, a mentor figure helping prepare the vineyard of Christ.
Hence Christian Counselors find themselves in a variety of situations where spiritual growth is directed. Within the sacramental life of the Christian, the counselor plays a special role in a variety of areas. One area that is critical is Matrimony; Marriage whether viewed as a sacrament or not nevertheless is a sacred ritual where God makes holy the union between a man and woman and elevates a natural contract to a supernatural vow of fidelity. In this sacred union, the regeneration of the Body of Christ is made anew and the family structure is supported. In the Trinitarian model, father, mother and child reflect the goodness of the trinity of one love and three persons.
Christian counselors find themselves preparing young couples in preparation for this sacred reflection of the trinity. It is the counselor who instructs and teaches the young couple of the theological implications of their vows and the vital importance and sacredness of the family unit. With such important foundations to be laid, the Christian counselor in many ways lays the foundational stones for a successful marriage.
Within the Catholic Church, this is accomplished via Pre-Cana instruction, but other Christian Churches also offer such services in preparation for marriage. Regardless of denomination, the Christian Counselor will play a vital role, not only in theologically training the young couple but also preparing the young couple for the challenges that await their infant marriage.
The counseling should include teaching of marriage, assessment of the couple’s readiness, exploration of problem areas and wedding planning. Among the many pitfalls married couples face, Christian counselors should also prepare the young couple for unrealistic expectations, financial difficulties, personal immaturities that can lead to insensitivity, changing roles that can lead to confusion, sexual standards, and unique circumstances that are original to the couple themselves. (Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide, Gary Collins)
Special emphasis should be given to couples who face additional issues such as mixed marriages, previous marriages, or past relations that have led to children. The modern family, while not perfect, has created a blend of past marriages with new marriages. The traditional family unfortunately due to modern influences has slowly become eroded. While it is the hope of the counselor to revitalize the notion of the traditional family, one must realize that God can repair and make anew anything that has fallen. In this regard, the Christian Counselor can play a helpful role in repairing old relations or creating new relationships where two broken families can re-emerge as one. Of course this involves extra sessions that involve integration of two different family philosophies. Discipline, religious outlooks, living arrangements and inter-personal dynamics all collide when two family paradigms attempt to merge. While this may become a huge stepping stone within the new family’s gradual evolution, one must remain spiritual and confident in God’s grace to create a loving environment where his love can be felt by all.
While this is merely a topical review of some of the many elements covered in marriage preparation, it does reveal the immense responsibility of those who help prepare young couples for the marriage vow. It is something that should be revered as a sacred position for it prepares couples for a sacred vocation. Spiritual counseling from a Christian perspective is a very important journey for those entering into a sacramental marriage.
Tags: Catholic Tradition, Christian Counseling, Christian Counselor, Christian Counselors, Marriag, Marriage, Marriage Counseling, Matrimony, Mentor Figure, Mother And Child, Personal Savior, Protestant Tradition, Rsquo, Sacramental Life, Sacred Ritual, Sacred Union, spiritual, Spiritual Growth, Theological Implications, Three Persons, Trinitarian, Young Couples
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