Sometimes language cannot make it really clear what we are attempting to express. Let us use “love” for our illustration. Love may be felt for your spouse, your baby, your work, your morning tea, your favorite shotgun, your heavenly father, or your country.
Clearly loving God is quite a different concept from loving your job. Love for your husband has little to do with love for your new hair style. We love all kinds of things and people, but the emotion is not the same. The word by itself does not have meaning.
It’s the same with “touch”. Your laptop computer might have a touchpad. There is no emotion in this type of mechanical touch. You can touch someone physically. Depending on your intention, this could range from friendly to aggressive to sexual.
A massage therapist can touch you in a clinical way. Then there are those therapists whose touch makes you feel like you are in heaven. A story or a movie can touch us intensely.
One word with more than one meaning. Professional touch, casual touch, sensual touch, emotional touch, mechanical touch, sexual touch, inappropriate touch…. Without knowing the context, “touch” does not mean anything. The meaning of a touch lies in our intention. Generally our intentions are clear when touching objects. But when we touch people, it is often not so easy and clear.
When you touch a cat or a dog, they just roll over and enjoy it. They couldn’t care less if you are a man or a woman. They don’t have any mental process that keeps them from enjoying it, and neither do babies or young children. They possess the natural ability to just enjoy a loving touch. Most animals and young children are very comfortable touching each other.
There was a study done with new born babies. One group of babies was held and touched all the time, and the second group was deprived of all touch. The study had to be aborted because the vital symptoms of the group of babies who were not touched started to deteriorate and the researchers were afraid that they might actually die.
We all know that young children and infants love to be touched and held and stroked. However at some point things change and suddenly a loving touch is not considered enjoyable anymore, but rather becomes embarrassing and awkward. At what point does this happen and for what reason? There is no doubt that children model the adults and adopt their behaviors.
Now let’s enter the world of adults where we have to deal with intentions, fears, cultural and religious issues, judgments and interpretations. If a man hugs another man, it could be a friendly back-slapping affair. But often the fear of homosexuality prevents men from touching each other.
If a woman is hugged or touched by a man, it can be an enjoyable exchange or sexual harassment. Unlike children, when adults hug, the world of the mind comes into play. In various cultures touching rules can be very different. It is normal for Arab men to exchange kisses on the cheek as a greeting, but European or American men would be shocked if another man tried to kiss them. Some cultures permit hugging, others totally shy away from it.
Touching among adults is quite a complicated subject. Most people love to be touched but are prevented from experiencing it due to cultural taboos, mind games, ill-intentioned people, shyness, or in some countries by the law. Massage therapy can be the perfect way to bypass all those cultural, moral or religious limitations and enjoy touch for what it can be – a deeply relaxing, healing and wonderfully pleasant experience.
Posted in Main Content | No Comments »